How To Be an ASSHOLE In Three Easy Steps

The first step is to not care about what others may feel and care about in life. Ignore their emotions and values when possible. To become an asshole is to have little or no emotional intelligence (EQ) whatsoever. The lower your EQ, the higher your ASSHOLE Intelligence (AQ).

The second steps is to behave like a real asshole. Do whatever you feel is right for yourself. Don’t worry about what is right for others. Try to ignore the social dynamics and complaints about your behaviors. Just remember these “haters” are just jealous of your power, beauty, and intelligence. You must have the belief that you are the universe or better yet GOD. The social norms do not apply to you and why should it? You’re fucking GOD, man. A great asshole knows that people are just the means to his end. (his end, get it?) Got it? Use people to further your objectives. They are simply organic means to your ends. The less you care about people, the better you will become as a asshole.

The finally step is to only have friends who are far worst than you. Become friends with other great assholes because your combine AQ will help increase your own AQ. So please dont hang out with nice people and spend as much time possible with nasty people who can teach you how to be crude, mean, nasty, and selfish.

Oh yeah, worshiping Satan is not a bad idea as well. ;)

There you have it. Three easy steps for becoming an official asshole. I was inspired to write these steps because I have met a lot of assholes in life. A lot of them came from Equinox.

2 Responses to “How To Be an ASSHOLE In Three Easy Steps”

  1. Bao –
    One of the first techniques learned at Asshole Charm School is :
    “Laugh like a horse in the face of your subordinates.”

    With practice, this can become one’s second nature and can serve well.

    It’s not the “Official Asshole Charm School Curriculum”, per se, but rather, part and parcel of the social environment.

    Don’t be baited and drawn in; as you know you can see that shit on any street-corner.
    It’s all about bullying and snobbery.

    Laughing like a horse back in the face of those assholes is a good tactic.
    It knocks them back on their hooves and gives them pause to wonder how you acquired your secret skill.

    They will never know.

    See you Tuesday at KB Class.

  2. Bill,

    I wrote this essay not out of personal pain dealing with assholes but humor. I find assholes funny. I was reflecting how it is easier to be an asshole than it is to be a decent human being. In Business, companies cannot afford to hire assholes for the long run. Yes, laughing at them is best. I look forward seeing you in class. I hope all is well.

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